Volume 9, Issue 1 - February, 1793

   

Volume 9, Issue 1 - February, 1793

     This issue of the Ladies Magazine revolves around teaching women, and in few cases men, how to behave. The topics of behavior include courting, entertainment, gratitude, and storytelling. These 'lessons' were important for the editors to relate through letters and articles, because they aided young men and women to their ultimate goal: marriage. However, most of the pressure was put on women to act a certain way to please men.
      One letter, entitled "On Coquetry," is written by a male reader to the editors. In this, he is describing his dilemma, because the girl he is courting has been treating him differently. This is a problem for the author, because he does not think he will ever get married if this woman does not share his feelings. He writes:

     "On making her another visit, I find myself treated with the most apparent indifference.
      Her languishing black eyes, instead of peeping at me above the most lovely white
      and red cheeks, are turned away with an air of contempt; and I am left to look at
      her flowing locks of auburne, which might serve to put an end to my miserable
      existence" (116).

He ends his letter by asking the editors to give advice to women on how to act toward a potential husband. The author seems to redeem himself, finally asking for advice for men; however, this again turns negative, when he asks how men she act around a "coquette" (116). The attribute of 'coquette,' or flirt, was not a desirable trait, and can be compared to our modern 'slut-shaming.' This letter exemplifies the social etiquette women were supposed to follow when finding a suitable mate. The author was more concerned with how the women should act toward men, than what his behavior reflected.
     Another piece that tries to impart sexist marital advice to women is "Occasional Papers." The article begins by being "addressed to the ladies" and is about the "improper conduct in the married state - improper use of time." The piece itself is about why idleness in life and a marriage lead to infidelity, using an example of a supposed real-life couple. This indolence, as the author explains, comes from losing intimacy and spouses not enjoying time together. While the article seems to impart marital guidance, it puts the responsibility on women by being "addressed to the ladies." It shows that women were not just under societal pressure to act a certain way before marriage, but that they were expected to keep the marriage together. The author writes that if their "duties are neglected, we can find nothing to supply their place which does not at the same time vitiate the imagination and corrupt the heart" (130). By including this article in the issue, the authors were contributing to the idea that a marriage was held together by the wife, even though it is made up of two partners.
    The responsibility of keeping a marriage sacred was not distributed evenly between men and women, but rather was predominantly put on the wife. This association began at a young age, as women we first taught the importance of marriage, how to behave in order to get a husband, and then what duties must be fulfilled to stay married. This issue of the Ladies Magazine reaffirms the pressure women were under when it came to nuptials, publishing works that teach women how to act before and during marriage

- Emily Fournier